Becoming Aware of your Internal Narrative: Insomnia

Becoming Aware of your Internal Narrative: Insomnia

Awakening the Inner Dialogue

Becoming aware of the inner dialogue constantly playing in your head—up to 50,000 times a day—is a profound awakening, an enlightening realization. Recognizing your thoughts, whether they are positive or negative, and choosing to nurture them or stop them in their tracks, brings a newfound freedom and a sense of control over your mind, empowering you to shape your future.

I’m not suggesting that this awareness means simply suppressing negative thoughts or feelings, especially when you’re in the midst of great upset or pain. Rather, it’s about becoming conscious enough that your thoughts no longer control you; instead, you’re in charge, deciding if a thought is healthy and beneficial enough to let it grow.

This is where the practice of mindfulness becomes truly transformative. By becoming fully present and aware of both your external surroundings and your inner world, you take the driver’s seat. This awareness lets you balance what’s happening around you with the dialogue inside you, allowing you to regulate your physiological and emotional responses. It doesn’t make you an emotionless robot; rather, it prevents your emotions from ruling your actions or causing you to crave chemical highs.

It’s important to remember that the external world and its media are designed to provoke emotional reactions that can overwhelm your logical thinking. I’m passionate about sharing this insight with my readers and community because we are all constantly being influenced.

Taking Control: Resisting Media-Driven Emotions

It’s striking to see how the world is presented through the window of a TV or computer screen. The immense stream of negativity can easily lead to a depressed outlook. Constantly viewing the world through these lenses would undoubtedly twist one’s perception of reality. I find it ironic that I’m writing a blog intended to spread this message through the very medium that often distorts our view.

Just a few years ago, I felt depressed and disheartened by the world I thought I saw. My day would begin early, with breakfast and a coffee fix accompanied by morning news, catching up on events I missed during sleep. Then, as I headed to work with the radio on and later settled in the office where the 24-hour news played in the background, I was bombarded with information. Before long, as I logged into my computer, I’d be checking my phone for news alerts, Facebook updates, or Twitter notifications—absorbing every bit of drama from news anchors, pundits, social media statuses, and internet trolls alike.

At lunchtime, I would sit in the canteen with the constant hum of 24-hour news—unless someone had switched the channel to a program that made me feel inadequate by showcasing people who seemed more attractive, wealthy, taller, or simply luckier than me. Friends would post trivial status updates, and when something went viral, everyone would join in with a torrent of uninformed, biting commentary, as if emulating a Daily Mail editor-in-chief.

During dinner, I’d watch the news again, and throughout the evening, I engaged with even more media—debate shows, YouTube videos, and countless other platforms that fed me the day’s views and narratives.

In short, my days were saturated with negative media stories, mixed with the allure of flashy, glamorous advertising that promised a happier, more desirable, and successful life—if only I could own the product paraded by impossibly beautiful people. Every glance in the mirror only reinforced my insecurities. This is a familiar story for many, reflecting how we connect with the outside world.

My life felt like it was constantly missing something, accompanied by a persistent undercurrent of fear. But what was truly missing? What was I afraid of? The media had conditioned me to live in a state of fear and deficiency, urging me to fill that void with technology, beauty products, sex, drugs, alcohol, and a lifestyle of selfish extravagance—promises that were never meant to be satisfying.

by Sam I Am > cyberpunk storyteller 👺 | digital, data-driven and behavioural marketing specialist | mentalist noise maker | that black hat SEO guy | unpicking systems of coercion & control | a belief in the power of story | writer | poet | Ai story artist | high tech (Ai) low life (human) | with a pinch of Pictish chaos magick

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