Musing of a Cyberpunk

Prose and musing by  Sam I am.

Writer of cyberpunk, dystopian fiction, and nonfiction. Plus whatever drives me at the time. 




I am so f#€£ed up

33 years of programming is hard to remove

And it’s a useful excuse


I am full of them


33 years of practice

Hard to establish new ways of being

Hidden from the world

And Armageddon is coming

I don’t believe

But I see all the signs

Dread looms

Let me out

I can’t leave

Even if I want to

So, keep walking

Head held low

It used to be so easy

It’s easy to lie

It’s hard to face the truth

If you even know what that is

Circular thinking


Burying my head

It’s easier that way

Until it’s not

Shop for new shoes

I don’t deserve


Higher state

Chasing the dragon

Low to delusion

In fantasy I realm

It’s easier than here

Anything is

But it has to stop

I want to get off

Too fast

Too much going on

Just stop

And let me in

Just stop

Let me in

I used to know you

You used to be my brother

But you never was

You used to be my sister

That was a lie

I never was

And neither were you

Betrothed to freedom

As freedom is lost

Born within

Out of this world



By the conditions of this bond

The deal was done beforehand

Souls are sold

To someone else’s god

On the dark web

And forever the guilt

Stepping away

Not reclaiming ground



Don’t get too close

It’s better that way

Until it’s not

And it’s really not

Face demons in the dark

Fighting shadows

Hoping to win


It’s worth having I guess

There’s nothing worth less

If hope is no more

33 years of programming

It’s a lot to remove

No alt control delete

Not this time

This time we take the long way through



-- words by me 

images directed by me, using the words from above, created by

by Sam I Am

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