Musing

I have to live with the voices.

I suppose we all do, but mine grind me down, in good times I am left out cold.

I live with things better unsaid.

I suppose we all do.

But it grinds me down when I should be present.

It takes me out of the conversation because the one in my head would rather crush me.

I would like to do better.

To think positive.

They say that we create our realities based on what we focus on.

But if you can’t focus then what’s left.

The realities based on the banalities of life keep encroaching.

Keep getting in the way of my dreams, whatever they are. Or used to be.

I try to drop it, that topic that keeps eroding my mind, that keeps chipping away at what’s left until there’s nothing.

And nothing seems better than the rest:

There’s nothing else.

At least that’s how it seems.

And maybe that’s the way it is.

And maybe it’s not.

But my head won’t quit.

It won’t let me be.

I need peace.

But there is no release.

No escape.

I live with it because I don’t know how to live without.

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artwork directed by me but created by wonder Ai