Lesson 1 is: The subtle use of a person’s name and praise will lower their defences.
This is not going to be rocket science and if you have taken part in any sales training some of these are going to be existing techniques that are explained and shown for their real potential. Techniques that when you realise their potential you will ask yourself why wasn’t I doing this in the first place.
Ok we are not going for the yeses and we are not going to keep using their name; well that’s not 100% true.
Also on a side note, if you are an extremely ethical person who thinks that you should not use “techniques” or “manipulation” to win an argument then fine. But be prepared to lose your arguments and most importantly the vote or backing of those that can make a difference. Because your opponents will use these techniques or something like these to win. Especially politicians, professional debaters and negotiators.
The mind:
The first lesson, therefore, is to use the person’s name but not constantly and this is the key.
Constant or consistent use to the customer or prospects name will put up their defences as they will start to think why does he keep using my name? Constant use of the targets name is a mistake although the subtle use of their name is a good step and should always be part of your conversation as it shows you have an interest in them. You acknowledge them.
This will mean that you must learn to become good with names and remember them fast. Remembering everyone’s name in a group situation is a particularly good trick as it means that if you want a person in the group to pay attention or to focus on you, you can use their name and point their attention to something. It also means that you will be making them your ally whether they realise it or not. A person will hear their own name in a crowded room.
Using a person’s name gains their attention. If you use it when they are already listening to you it means that you gain their attention on a subconscious level. This together with praise is a powerful tool for gaining trust on that level.
Telling people that you think their idea is good, using their name in this is twice as powerful. Saying something along the lines of “Sam, I think that your idea about …..was a good one” or “Sam I know you are an experienced professional communicator and expert in these matters so could I just ask….” And so on.
This means that on a subconscious level you have built a bridge between you and them. You have gained their attention by the subtle use of their name and then you have stroked their internal ego. You have made a connection where on a subconscious level their barriers will be removed and they will begin to trust you.
Body:
When you use their name and when you praise them to watch their body language, their facial expressions and eye movement. If they stiffen up or their arms cross then, maybe, you are not being subtle enough and they are aware that you are using a sale trick.
If on the other hand, they seem to relax and their eyes brighten, their arms or legs become uncrossed, their facial muscles and their shoulders relax you are on the right track. But gently does it.
Calibration is required. A common misconception about body language is that if a person crosses their arms they are being defensive or if they look up and to the left, they are lying. Whilst this can be true, different people are wired in different ways. From some crossing their arms can mean they are becoming comfortable and if they are looking up and to the left, they could be remembering.
Lesson 1 is: The subtle use of the prospects name and praise will lower their defences. It will mean that you gain their trust on a level they will not realise and although it is only a small point subtly adding these two elements into your conversation will build a bond between you and them and mean that they will connect with you without realising it.
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