Musing

I love life and hate it all at the same time. Do I hate it more than I love it. There is no denying that.

I guess that’s just the way it is.  Has it always just been the way I feel but I hid it from myself?

I know it’s not you. do you?

We exist in th

The darkness crept in. whilst we were sleeping. Apparently.

Apparently, we weren’t listening. We never do

You ask the same questions. As if you were programmed to do it. By the system.

We all seek autonomy. That’s what we’re told. I guess we should l

“Where has all the horror gone? Do you know what I mean? It is not in the movies anymore, hell you know that they only want for shock and jump scares for those fuckwits at Hollywood. No real fear is stoked up. Not like it used to be by the masters of

It is okay to smile once in a while, even when times aren’t great it is okay to treat yourself. And not to project our desire through pent-up frustration. Take the good moments where you can get them, and there is no need for the poet to pepper those

We work, they tell us it is good for us, and if we are lucky it is, or it at least feels like it is. But normally we are just feeding the rich man’s mongrels.

We get told you need to be more productive. And mindful at the same time. It is easy to be

They feed their fat faces, whilst they cut our throats.

The bastards love it. And you help spoon it in. even though they spit in your faces. But it’s okay as long as they're racist, they’ll get your vote.

You can bury your head in the bottom of a bot

It comes as a shock, life.

When you eventually start living it that is.

Before then it is just a fucking annoyance.

Or for some a fucking blessing, lucky bastards.

But eventually, you will realise you have not been living all along.

And hope it isn’t

Trouble crafts itself around my organs

Clawing on to my heart for dear life

Grafting at the edges.

I should have been gone by now

Or so the thought says

But another denies it. Calls it out for what it is.

When is it over.

When does it begin.

When doe

Broken.

The vibration touches inside me. As it penetrates my eardrums.

Taking me to places I had thought I had never been.

Until I realised, I had.

Same places.

Same faces.

We’re stuck in this together.

You lick my finger.

It takes my mind off.

For t

The problem with life is that it can be fucking hard

and shit at times

Yes, it can be wonderful and beautiful too, but mostly, a lot at least, if I am not being dramatic, is shit.

you know that as much, don’t you?

they want us to deny it, capitalist,

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This thing we’re creating, it’s not natural but it comes from it. At least we used to be. Now we are part robot. And we don’t mind it.

In fact

We love it.

We get withdrawals if we are moments away from it.

This thing

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people say they are going to go dark and they don’t mean it

they say they are disconnecting, going off-grid but it is all just utter bullshit

and I am no different

I mean clearly look at me typing into a computer to wr

bitterest of friends and the sweetest of enemies

conversation never stops starting

going off to the side.

who am I to answer.

silence. brings clarity. without them we’re lost.

they are our friends, after all. our enemies too, but they do have a purpo

Regret is a motherfucker. Eating you up inside. Devouring you in a parasitic frenzy. Ignited by circumstance. Joy turns. Bad gets worse. They say they are not worth having, and their right. Whoever they are. But they never say how you stop. Not for f

You insult me in my own home one last time, and you will see what happens

We suffocate everything we love, but it’s not love is it?

Not what you want?

No is only the beginning of the question.

And we can’t cope with the consequences and so we keep dr

It’s not what you think

it can hold many variations of me in place at the same time

Why do I not consider it true of the other

The more we fight them the more they break through

We observe in silence

And realise how reckless we have been and still ar

His vermin-filled intestines spill forth bi-libelous delectations that only he can abide. And whatever driveling bullshit comes out of his mouth. I am not going to miss him. I do not think he is funny or charming or a ‘bit of a fool’, I think he is a

We know their type

We know who they are.

And yet we ponder, and they fail to deliver.

Rotate all you want. They are all facing the same way.

After the one thing, they should never have.

And yet you gave it them so freely.

And you ask.

Or forget to.

W

Is there any point? Yes, there is.

Simple. But they don’t want you to think that.

It doesn’t suit their purpose for you to have hope.

It only serves to keep you in your place.

Where you have utility. To them if not you and yours.

Just stay where you

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We court ourselves our entire lives. We are hardly getting to know ourselves and we disappear. The reality of that should hit home, but it doesn’t. It never does. We wonder at ourselves. Pity ourselves and are let down by ou