Lesson 6: show a little empathy.
This will be a lot easier for the more genuine and caring individuals out there but showing a little empathy to the subject will do wonders for building trust. But we need to remember there is a difference between empathy and sympathy. I can empathise with your situation or point of view without becoming emotionally involved or controlled by it.
Sympathy means if you feel sad, I feel sad. Empathy means I can see you feel sad and I know how that feels. But does not mean I get swept along with it.
We can again build and express empathy subtly through our own body language and actual language. Through matching body language and facial expressions, subtly, we will trigger something both in our subject and ourselves that effectively says on a subconscious level “this person is just like me”, “this person gets me” and we begin to gain an understanding of their mindset and thinking. By doing this we can trigger their mirror neurons and our mirror neurons.
The use of active and focused listening skills and minimal encouragers in conversation can again give the impression of empathy. Holding ourselves back from jumping in and changing the direction of the conversation is key. Simply saying phrases like “go on” or “and” an “because” or by repeating back the last few words in the other person’s sentence will a slightly raised octave at the end, mixed with raised eyebrows, can suggest a question or encourager to continue the train of thought. This triggers in the subject the subconscious thought that this person is interested in me and what I have to say, they understand me.
Mind & Body:
People pick up on body language and intent very easily even if they do not realise, they are doing this. The reason is because their subconscious has learnt the signals and sends a warning alarm to us when something does not feel right. But conversely sends us warm fuzzy feelings in the way of chemical psychological reactions when we bond with another person. Add sex into this and you might confuse it with love.
Call it gut reaction. Some think they have a psychic ability because of it. But the real fact is that it is just our analytical brain working things out, taking in all the millions of pieces of data we could not consciously process, listening to the bodies chemical reaction and warning us that something is not right. But also, encouraging us when something just feels right. Of course, what it often doesn’t ask is “does this person know advance communications skills and are they manipulating us?”
Because of this faking empathy may not be the answer. Having real empathy or at least empathising with their needs and concerns will add levels of trust on a subconscious level that will far surpass anything we might try and fake. Learning and understanding this is when you can start working your way past being a manipulative asshole and start becoming a genuinely good empathetic person. Who because of this gets better results. And there really is no need to try and fake it. Because of the mirror neurons within each person simply reflecting the other person and sitting with them in an open present state will trigger some level of empathy for their situation or point of view.
You may not need to be genuinely empathetic but at least you need to listen to their concerns. Nod along with them and take their concerns on board. Listen be patient and take your time to make them feel comfortable. Most people just want to be heard and are waiting for their chance to speak. Often once you get them going it is hard to get them to shut up, but of course you don’t want them to if you are trying to elicit information that can help you bond with them and persuade them.
Use this in conjunction with lesson 3 (Be a reflection of your customer) restating their issues in their words, with open body language, add in tips from lesson 1 about using their names and praising them because they have noted an issue most customers do not; add in a little reverse psychology in lesson 4 and the tools in lesson 5 and you will gain complete control of the conversation.
Lesson 6: show a little empathy it goes a long way.
Hopefully by now you are seeing how all these lessons fit in with each other and that together you not only have a strong sales structure but you also have a strong structure for selling yourself to the person subconscious level.
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Want to read more about Communications Psychology, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Persuasion Architectures
Just Shut up and Listen: Social and Direct
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 1
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 2 -Communicating on a subconscious level
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 3 - Earning Trust
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 4 - we love our own names
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 5 - Using Everyday Trances
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 6 - Reflect your contact
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 7 - Take away the right to buy or agree with you
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 8 - Add a little mystery
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 9 - show a little empathy
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 10 - be honest about the products or arguments flaws
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 11 - a picture paints a thousand words; add in a powerful visualisation technique and you’ll have them.
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 12 - recognise buying an agreement triggers
Psychological Persuasion tools Chapter 13 - pulling buying and agreement triggers
Learn and gain insight into people's metaprogrammes to facilitate better conversations
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